I’ve long been impressed by the wisdom of César Millán alias, “The Dog Whisperer.”
For the last couple of years I’ve begun to integrate some of his core wise teachings into my leadership coaching practice with senior execs around the world.
For certain people that’s quite a revelation and for some it stimulates the question, “What does dog training have to do with leadership coaching with human beings?”
The answer to that question is quite simple and it is wrapped up loosely in the age-old saying that the dog is “man’s best friend.”
So what does César Millán tell us about the relationship dynamic between man’s best friend and the human dog owner?
If we review César’s Pack Leadership Technique 3; Establish Rules, Boundaries and Limitations (RBL) we see that César is laying down the necessary preconditions for nurturing a “happy, balanced dog”.
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Rules refer to what is allowed and not allowed
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Boundaries control where it’s ok to go and not go
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Limitations control the length or intensity of an activity.
I suggest that this is a also a remarkably helpful approach for nurturing all human relationships and friendship in particular.
In my ongoing research on friendship in life and especially in business organisations I have discovered that the approach to nurturing friendships is no different to the approach taken by people who set out to enjoy the game of golf.
There are those who are committed to getting professional golf lessons and to regular practice.
On the other hand there many who dismiss outright the notion that there is a best way to play golf with rules, boundaries and limitations. They learn by going out and picking the game up naturally in a laissez-fairs fashion, by the “seat of their pants.”
My research suggests that the approach to friendship relations in life is very similar.
There are many people who simply want to get on with their friendships and “fly by the seat of their pants.”
However, there appears to be a much smaller group that is committed to the need to seriously honour rules, boundaries and limitations when navigating friendship with others.
Reliable data is hard to find when exploring these different approaches. I suggest that there are very few people who take seriously the RBL approach to their friendships.
Many psychologists suggest that most people sleepwalk through life and the laissez-faire approach to friendship fits comfortably into the sleepwalking concept.
Do you follow the RBL approach to your friendships or are you a dedicated follower of laissez faire flying by the “seat of your pants?”
I am inviting responses by email@dannymcguigan.com to this fascinating question (especially from my very good friend Gavin Cargill.)
